Love Hurts
by k2912p
Summary: Alex has to have one of the hardest conversations of his life.


**A/N: Just a one-shot that I couldn't get out of my head, how I feel the conversation could go when Alex has to tell Zola he is leaving.** **Disclainer: I do not own any of the characters.**

Alex and Meredith stood outside the room, watching Zola and Bailey playing together, putting together a puzzle. "You don't have to do this, you know. I can tell her." Meredith said, quietly.

Alex shook his head, not looking away from the scene before him. "No, she needs to hear it from me," he said, somberly, not looking forward to the conversation at hand.

"Okay. Let me take Bailey downstairs. This will be hard enough with just Zo." Meredith pushed passed him into the room. "Hey, guys!" she said brightly. "Bay, I need you to come with me for a minute, okay? Uncle Alex needs to talk to Zola." She tousled her daughter's hair, her heart breaking for the sadness she knew she was facing. "I'm right downstairs if you need me," she whispered as she passed him, squeezing his arm for support.

"Okay, thanks," he responded, his mouth suddenly dry. Of all the people he had to tell, this one was going to be the hardest.

"Hey, Zo, I need to talk to you, okay?" he said, as he sat in one of the toddler sized chairs in the room.

Zola regarded him warily. She was smart for her age, and she recognized immediately that this was not a good talk. She had endured enough sadness in her life to have already developed coping mechanisms; her jaw was tight, and her little hands were fisted as they rested on the table. Her breathing had already increased in anticipation of the bad news to come. She said nothing, only looked at him with wide, dark eyes already filled with sadness.

He looked into her eyes and immediately had to look away, as he was already in danger of losing his composure. He had to remain strong, because if he cried, it would be so much worse for her. He cleared his throat and turned back to her, resolved to get through this.

"You know you're my special girl, right?" he began, trying to keep his tone cheerful.

She nodded, and her bottom lip quivered slightly. It was enough to again make him almost break, but he soldiered on.

"You know how I'm a surgeon and your Aunt Jo's a surgeon, right?"

"Yeah, and I'm going to be a surgeon, too, when I get big!" Zola loved talking about being a surgeon, just like her mom and dad, her aunts and uncle and all their friends.

"Right! Well, there's a lot you have to learn when you're becoming a surgeon," he continued, grateful that had a basic knowledge of what was required of surgeons. "Well, your Aunt Jo got a fellowship…do you know what that is?" Zola shook her head no. "Well, it's a special training you can get after you finish your residency. You know what that is, right?"

Zola nodded. "It's when you're being trained to be a surgeon!" she answered proudly.

"That's right! High five!" she slapped the hand he raised. "Ow! You're getting too strong!"

Zola giggled at his overly theatrical performance.

"Well, a fellowship is a super special training that can happen after you finish your residency," he explained. "Only the best surgeons get these fellowships, they're really hard to get. Your Aunt Jo got one! Isn't that awesome?" He tried to sound enthusiastic.

"Yeah! That's great!" she said, starting to relax a little. Maybe this conversation was just a more grown up conversation and not the bad one she thought she sensed. That changed with his next words.

"The thing is, Zo," he began, noticing her face falling already, "this super special fellowship isn't here in Seattle."

Her eyes got bigger and glistened with tears. "Where is it?" she asked, quietly, her voice wavering.

"It's in Boston," he said simply. "Do you know where that is?"

Her defense measures were back in place, her little fists squeezing so tightly that her nails dug into her palms. She managed a weak nod. "In Massachusetts," she whispered, the tears threatening to spill.

He swallowed hard. The kid was really making this difficult. "Yeah," he looked away and took a deep breath. "Just because I have to go doesn't mean I'm leaving you, Zo," he said, using a similar line to the one he had said to her mother the day of his wedding.

"Why do you have to go?" she said, more loudly.

"Because your Aunt Jo and I are married, and married people live together," he explained simply.

Her bottom lip quivered a little more. "Uncle Alex, why didn't you marry my mom? Then you wouldn't have to go away."

"Zo, you know that's not how it works," he said, gently.

"But you love her, don't you?" she pressed.

"Of course, I do, Zola. But it's not the same kind of love."

"Why not?" she asked, her face looking sadder by the minute.

He sighed, feeling awful that he was the cause of her sadness. "It's like…you love milk, and you love orange juice, right?" he asked, grasping at straws. She nodded. "But you wouldn't pour orange juice on your cereal, would you?" he knew it was a terrible analogy, but hoped she could somewhat understand.

"Eww. That's disgusting!" she giggled.

He chuckled. "Yeah. Well, different kinds of love are kind of like that," he said, hoping he was helping, hoping he wasn't making things worse for Meredith, and hoping he wasn't scarring Zola for life.

She was quiet for a minute, then the quivering lip made it's return. "Do you have to go, Uncle Alex?" she asked, sadly.

"Yeah, Zo, I do." Zola started to cry, and he pulled her onto his lap, where she buried her head into his chest. "It won't be forever. We'll still talk on the phone all the time, and I'll come back for your birthday…" she cried harder.

"That's what Aunt Cristina said, and she never came back!" Zola was inconsolable now. She lifted her head and looked at Alex, her little face scrunched up in anger. "I hate Boston, and I hate Aunt Jo!" she yelled.

He gently put his hands on her shoulders. "Hey Zo. We don't hate. It's okay to be sad. But we don't hate, okay? And your Aunt Jo loves you so much. You know how sad she would be if she heard you say that?" he said, gently.

Just then, Meredith appeared in the doorway. "Alex, Bailey could use some help with his trucks," she said quietly.

He turned his sad eyes towards her and nodded. "Hey Zo, I'm going to help your brother for a minute, but I'll be back, okay?" Zola didn't respond, so he softly set her down in her chair, kissing the top of her head.

He went to Meredith in the doorway. "I'm sorry, Mer."

She gave him a tight smile. "It's okay. You go, I got this." She said.

Meredith walked over to the chair vacated by Alex and sat down. "How you doing, Zo?" she asked.

Her daughter started openly sobbing and ran into her mother's arms. Meredith soothed her as best she could considering the person who was possibly her favorite person in the world had just informed her that he was leaving. Meredith herself was having a hard time with Alex leaving, seeing Zola's reaction was bordering on unbearable.

"Hey Zozo. I know it's hard, sweetie."

"Why does he have to…to leave?" she said through choked sobs.

Meredith closed her eyes in an effort to garner some strength. "Oh Zola. Because Aunt Jo has to go, and they're married now."

"But why does he love her more than he loves us?" she asked, her young mind struggling to understand why this had to happen.

"He doesn't love her more than you, it's…different. This is important for Aunt Jo, she needs it for her career. Uncle Alex is sad that he has to go, but he loves Aunt Jo, so he is going. We're sad that Uncle Alex is leaving, but we don't want him to be sad, do we?" Zola shook her head no. "Then, we have to tell Uncle Alex that we're happy for him. When you're a grownup that's what you have to do. You have to tell the person that you're happy for them, even when your own heart is breaking," she said sadly.

"Mom, is your heart breaking?" Zola asked, sadly.

Meredith sniffled. "Yeah, Zo. It is." Zola gave her a tight hug. "Aww, thanks, Zo. That helps a lot." Meredith swallowed hard and continued, "Being happy for someone when you're really sad is one of the best ways to show someone how much you love them. Now, don't you think Uncle Alex deserves to be happy? He's done so much for us."

"Yeah, he's the best Uncle ever!" Zola said, a little more brightly.

Meredith smiled at her. "Yeah, Zo, he is. But I think he's feeling really bad right now, because he doesn't like making you sad. Why don't you go downstairs and help cheer him up?" she suggested.

Zola smiled. "Okay, mom. I can do it."

"That's my girl. I'm so proud of you!" she gave her a kiss on the forehead before she headed downstairs.

Meredith sat in the room for a moment, then started to clean up the puzzle. It wasn't long before her vision clouded with tears that streamed down her face. She sat on the floor and pulled her knees to her chest, resting her head on her arms. "I'm glad you can do it, Zola," she whispered. "I just don't know if I can.


End file.
